I must return to my Multimillion Dollar Plan
Fight Mammon with Money!
Or surrender to her embraces -
It only hurts when I'm serious.
I never wanted Martyrdom -
Though I often took refuge in it.

I am no Holy Roller,
I read the National Lampoon
And write secret articles of unbelief,
Cackling in my sleep.

I am no Fruit & Vegetable Nut -
I eat Sacred Cows
And get horny as ten bulls
Swallowing raw eggs & whisky.

Who cares about the God-Next-Door!
Some of my best friends are demons;
The ones with bad breath -
They're usually priests.
Who stole my Royalties?
The Queen of Dreams!
Is her name Maya?
No, we're just good friends.


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